2024 Poisson d'Avril Contest Rules

 

OFFICIAL RULES – 70th ANNUAL POISSON d’AVRIL CONTEST

Please note that these “Rules” are  less rules and more "guidelines" or "suggestions" - kind of like Boston traffic laws.

I. OBJECTIVE:

For radio amateurs worldwide to have a few laughs about contesting.

II. CONTEST PERIOD.

Contest comma: Oxford. Huh? You can look it up here, here, and here.

Contest colon: Ours is fine. Make sure yours is.

Oh, you wanna know when the contest is? OK…April 1.

III. BANDS:

We really like most of the British Invasion bands, especially the Beatles and Dave Clark Five. Not really into the Stones so much. The Blues Breakers and early Fleetwood Mac were also good. Kind of went downhill and lost the blues vibe when they let the girls in, but Stevie Nicks…right? Any band with Clapton makes the list. A lot of the California bands were great too, the Byrds, CSN+/-Y, Jefferson Airplane. And of course let’s not forget The Band – with or without Dylan. But in keeping with les origines Francais of this event, here’s a little piece to get you in the mood for the Pd’A.

Oh…maybe this part is supposed to be about ham radio bands. There are rumours of the Spurious Emissions Band getting back together one of these years.

Oh…frequency bands. Here’s the deal. In the HF bands, CW will no longer be permitted. The lower parts of most of the HF bands have been now converted to data modes only for U.S. licensees. GO ahead…try to find a mention of CW in 97.307.

IV. EXCHANGE:

All those other contests have pretty boring exchanges. A meaningless “signal report”. Serial number, power, name…you have to actually copy these…ugh! Zones are easy because the software fills them in for you. Someone once suggested a contest especially for YLs where the exchange is how the operator feels about the QSO.

A typical QSO takes this format:

“CQ Pd’A, DX1DX”

“1S1A”

“1S1A, 59 1234”

“OK…DX1DX, I copy your 59 1234. Please copy 59….umm…I guess you need a number, which would be zeeeero zeeeero zeeeero one…or maybe you need my power…HOOOOLA HOLA HOLA..looks like about 950 watts…hmmm… I oughta get more than that…lemme touch up the amp here…HOOOOLA – there we are…975 watts. Over.”

 

VI. SCORING:

A. Count one point for any QSO you think you maybe probably completed. Count 2 points for any QSO you are 100% sure you got everything right. Subtract ten points for every QSO where you looked up the callsign after the contest just to be sure.

B. A QSO with any station whose birthday is April 1 count 1,000,000 points.

4. Multipliers: To avoid confusion with another contest in the same time period, the multiplier is the number of different callsign suffixes, defined as the last two letters. FYI, the last two letters are Y and Z. An additional multiplier of 1 is applied if your callsign is K1DG; otherwise multiply the total number of QSO points by zero.

VI. ENTRY CATEGORIES:

Use of QSO alerting assistance is required in all categories. Spot yourself early and often. Let’s bring the clusters to their knees!

A. Single Operator Categories: One person (the operator) performs all functions, including trigonometric, transcendental and logarithmic/exponential, and must use a slide rule. Nobody is allowed to bring the operator a sandwich. Pizza is OK though. And soup.

1. Single Operator High Power: Total output power must exceed 1500 watts. We said High (and it’s in bold face!). Just don’t get caught.

2. Single Operator Low Power, Single Operator QRP…Do sane people actually do this? Why? Deep-seated psychological defects maybe? Geez….it’s a contest…make some noise!

B. Single Operator Overlayla Categories:

1. Duobander/Quadbander/Tribander/Single Element: Whatever. How will we know what you really used?

2. Rookie: To enter this category the operator must have been licensed as a radio amateur three (3) years or less on the date of the contest. If you really really want to enter this category and have been licensed too long, let us know. We know a guy who can set you up with a license with any date you want. It’ll cost ya though.

3. Classy: The operator must use a British accent for the entire contest, even on CW and digital modes. Each QSO must include proper manners, with “Please”, “Thank you”, and “You’re welcome” where appropriate. BUT NEVER “PLEASE COPY”! ARRGGGH! Classy operators are expected to be well-groomed and properly attired (jacket and tie for gentlemen, knee-length dresses and tasteful jewelry for the ladies). Correct posture and etiquette are essential.

4. Yout: The operator must be 25 years old or younger at the start of the contest. If a fake ID is needed, we know a guy who can hook you up. By the end of the contest, the operator must feel like he is at least 70.

C. Multi-Operator Categories: More than one person can contribute to the final score during the official contest period. Select category based on number of transmitted signals or number of locations

1. Single-Transmitter (MULTI-ONE): Only one transmitted signal is permitted at any time. Time. Does anybody really know what time it is? Does anybody really care? A maximum of ten (10) band changes may be made in any clock hour (00 through 59 minutes) except on Tuesdays in leap years or stations operating on or near the International Date Line. For example, a change from 20 meters to 40 meters and then back to 20 meters counts as two band changes. Two shall be the counting of the band changes. Going back to 40 would be three and three shall be the count. Going again back to 20 would be four which would be right out. Use a single serial number sequence for the entire log. You may start with a high number and work backwards.

2. Too-Transmitter (MULTI-TOO): A maximum of two transmitted signals is permitted at any time on two different bands. Two shall be the counting of the transmitters and the counting of the transmitter shall be two. A third or fourth transmitter shall thou not use.

3. Multi-Transmitter (MULTI-UNLIMITED): A maximum of six transmitted signals per band, at any one time. Six bands may be activated simultaneously for a total of 36 transmitted signals. Actually, strike that…let’s fire up on the WARC Bands too, or as hams younger than 60 call them: 12, 17, and 30 meters. And let’s throw in 60 meters for good measure.

4. Multi-Transmitter Distributed (MULTI-DISTRIBUTED): A maximum of six transmitted signals per band at any one time, from stations in different locations using the same or different callsigns. All equipment (transmitters, receivers, amplifiers, antennas, modems, washer/dryers, Bitcoin mining systems, etc.) must be located in a DXCC entity and CQ Zone and must be remotely controlled. Six bands may be activated simultaneously. Or 9. Or 10. Whatever. Use a separate serial number sequence for each band in Roman Numerals. Total output power of each transmitted signal must exceed 1500 watts.

D. Czech log: Entry submitted from any station in the Czech Republic, or Czechia if you prefer.

VII. AWARDS:

A. Plaques are occasionally awarded to recognize top performance. For that matter, if you want a plaque for whatever you “accomplish”, such as 4^th place, QRP, single-band 630 meters, FT8, just let us know and we’ll make one for you. But is a plaque really what you need to validate your sense of self-worth? Isn’t it enough that you read this far?

B. Certificates: Electronic certificates are available for all entries. Check your local grocery store.

The top scorers have already been identified and photographed. Le Grand Poisson, of course, sporting his super-cool Blue First Place ribbon, with runners-up W1DAD and W1/VA2EBI sporting their almost as cool red second-place ribbons.

  

VIII. CLUB COMPETITION:

This is a radio contest. We do not condone the use of clubs, guns, knives, or any other weaponry when competing for a clear frequency, tempting though it may be. Just crank up the processor and mic gain to 11 and let it fly.

IX. DEFINITIONS OF TERMS:

A. Station location: The area in which all the operators, transmitters, receivers, amplifiers and antennas are located. All transmitters, receivers, operators, and amplifiers must be within a single 500-parsec diameter circle. Antennas may be physically connected by RF transmission lines to the transmitters, receivers, operators, and amplifiers. So basically anything goes.

B. QSO finding assistance:  Frankly, we have given up on any chance of defining this. The Stew Perry Rule Six sort of, kind of almost converged what it is. But instead of prohibiting that Stew Perry Rule 6 stuff, the Pd’A encourages it. For that matter, we are now requiring it.

X. Wow. Conditions on 10 have been amazing this year. Get it while you can.

XI. GENERAL RULES FOR ALL ENTRANTS:

A. Entrants must operate within the limits of their chosen category when performing any activity that could affect their submitted score. Mental telepathy is permitted in all categories as well as telekinesis.

B. A different callsign must be used for each QSO. Only the entrant’s callsign may be used to aid the entrant’s score.

C. Blah blah blah.

XI. LOG INSTRUCTIONS:

Electronic submission of logs is required for all entrants, but only on the live scoreboards. We don’t want or need your log to determine the order of finish. Heh, heh, heh.

XII. DEADLINE:

Once again, in case you missed it in previous Pd’A announcements and rules screeds, our favorite Dead line is “Too much of everything is just enough”, at the 2:30 point of  “I need a Miracle”.

XIII. JUDGING:

Matthew 7:1, OK?